Love is different for everyone and to think that it speaks and works the same way for 7 billion people wouldn’t be fair. But here’s what love is for me, as I’ve come to realise.

I’ve come to understand that love isn’t all of a sudden. It is not like tripping over a wire and helplessly tumbling into a deep pit named love. It isn’t seeing someone and going gaga over them. It is not investing countless emotions and one sided attraction and it certainly is not something that happens overnight.

It is more like being slowly and softly walked down a path leading to a place called love. It is floating forward on small waves, and as you float, you feel a slight pinch here, a little electricity there. Then it hits you, a little later, or maybe even later like a crashing wave dousing you. That’s when you realize that this is love.

Love doesn’t have to come barging in through the door, shaking the entire house and making your heart beat ten times faster at an uncomfortable rate. It can tiptoe in softly and cuddle quietly next to you like a cat. And make you feel warmer and more peaceful. Yes, it will still make your heart beat faster, maybe flutter sometimes, but you will feel peace and contentment.


See the light

This is something I typed when I was extremely frustrated and has been sitting stagnant and forgotten in my drafts folder for over a year. Let it finally see the light (no pun intended)

I get really flipped out when people continuously crib and sulk about things. Especially the things they got themselves into and are doing absolutely nothing to get out of.

Yes, I get it. You may not like it, it may not be what you expected or it may just be really bad and you express that. It’s acceptable to an extent but continuously whining for days at length is not done. Please please let my peace of mind stay intact.

What is the point of saying I wish I hadn’t or I wish it wasn’t? These wishes are not going to happen. The situation is here and it is here to stay. But you do not have to mope about it all day long to everyone all the time. What you can do is figure out ways to improve it. To change it. Seeing how you can adapt to it.  It might be a dark cloud following you, not letting the light through but only if you refuse to see the silver lining. And then you will know that it is not what it seems it was and is much better and easier. In fact it may be a lot better than what you wanted. It may present a whole new world of opportunities.

Take it like a dirty chest with some gold in it. Always, always try to see the best in things.
When you go digging for gold, you focus on the gold and not on the amount of dirt you have to throw out.


I was a little sad today because part of me felt lonely and empty. I’ve just returned to my university from home and I’m still a little homesick.

I was simply sitting in the room at around 7 pm and just happened to glance skywards. What I saw took my breath away.
The sky was a stunning shade of purple, with yellow bubbling clouds lined with deep crimson.
I usually click a lot of photos but today all I did was just sit there and feel the sky in my soul and paste it in the back of my eyelids. A few minutes later I saw a few fireflies and it just made my heart glow ❤ It feels amazing to have these small things that usually seem unimportant and insignificant to remind you how beautiful the world is.

It feels like Allah is constantly watching over you and telling you to keep your chin up and smile. Showing you a hundred reasons to be happy. I hope I never become someone who cannot see these beautiful things and find happiness in them.

Another year!!

I promised to myself that I’d be consistent with this blog and post regular updates. It’s been over a month since my last post! I guess that’s what happens when life gets in the way.
All that apart, I fall under that section of the society that’s still wondering where and how 2015 passed. I’m among those who wish they could cling on to the last few slivers of the past year and probably stretch it and make it longer. But live in the moment,carpe diem etc, yeah?
Happy new year 2016 everyone (I really don’t like the k trend ugh)!! Hope that this year goes on to be the best year you’ve had yet and everyone finds what they are looking for. ❤
I hope you find the best book you’ve read or a new friend. I hope you get to view the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever seen and plenty of sunrises above the water. I hope you find the best food outlets in town. I hope you find parking spaces easily. I hope you find a bottle of glitter and a sky full of stars.
But most of all, I hope that this year, you find yourself. I pray that you find what you really want and set out to achieve it. I hope you are able to figur out what goes on in the crypt of your heart and in the depths of your mind.
Try to make yourself a better person than you were the previous moment. Stop comparing yourself to others because there will always be someone you find better than yourself. Instead compete with yourself and focus on making you better than you.
Keep changing, growing and expanding.
Hope this year proves to be the best for you all and it even has an extra day to give you an extra opportunity to make it better!

P.S. Please don’t make unachievable resolutions! We all know they don’t work. At this point I’ve stopped making resolutions completely apart from ‘Try to always be better than you were yesterday’

I guess you could say I had a pretty high start to the new year lol ._.


Jabal Hafeet at 12:00 am

New chapter

Moving away from home is always a huge change and immensely difficult no matter how old you are. We think 18 is a very mature age and that we’ll be perfectly fine. We think that we’re old enough and know everything abput everything and feel invincible. But let me tell you that once you step into a new world you will question yourself and your abilities. Your confidence will fall short and you won’t want to stay. I moved 1.5 thousand miles away from my family and everything here is incredibly and frightfully different from what I’ve had all my life.
I was one of those very lucky people who had a friend going with them, otherwise, I kid you not, I’d be back with my family right now.
Anyway, in the very beginning it was a little difficult. Every face I saw was a fresh one and every place I went to was new. I had never felt that lonely and empty before. I was adjusting just fine but sometimes I felt trapped in this tiny cell with all the walls slowly closing in, crushing me. I still feel that occasionally and it’s been 2 weeks. Feeling lonely and crushed in the beginning is very normal but don’t let it stay or define your personality. Always remind yourself (repeat it if you have to) that you are the living embodiment of all the most beautiful and the most powerful things in the universe. You were crafted with love and for a purpose. Yes, you are invincible. Pretend confidence until it is actually there. Fake it till you make it. And most importantly try to see the best in everything. It is like digging through the dirt to find gold; you focus on the gold. Having a positive attitude about something is half the solution.

I hope university life is an amazing experience for everyone. There will definitely be downs but how will you realize the true joy of ups when you don’t have any downs?

Some help, for real. #crisis

This is a long post but PLEASE READ IT ALL.

I really hope everyone shows some decency and stop sharing the photograph of the child lying on the sea shore and other pictures to “wake” the “humanity of Europe” and elicit attention from activists. The prayers, support and articles are definitely required but please don’t share photographs so heartlessly. This obsession with sharing pictures of the dead, is deplorable beyond imagination. It’s counterproductive and will initially make us feel crushed and completely disheartened but eventually, it could have a numbing effect.

Instead of pointing fingers and tossing responsibility at others do YOUR part and pray for the best. Europe is helping, let us help them and the host country. 


Instead of incessantly sharing such a sensitive and repulsive picture to make yourself feel good you could donate money to the many organizations that are helping refugees, you could share information regarding the refugee crisis and history of the war. Here are some ways to actually help instead of only feeding your ego and insensitively sharing the picture:

1. Doctors Without Borders is and organisation providing medical aid in and around Syria. If you call this number you can ensure your funds go directly to Syrian refugees 1-888-392-0392.

2. World Visions works in Lebanon, Syria, and Jordan to provide clean and sanitizing water. You can donate by calling 1-800-562-4453.

3. CARE operates multiple refugee centers in Syria, Jordan and Lebanon and you can donate to them by calling 1-800-521-CARE

4. World Food Program will provide food to Syrians and other refugees. Donate at

5. Islamic Relief USA is also providing food, water, and shelter and you can donate to them HERE.

6. You can also donate specifically for children which provides things such as diapers, clothing, and food.

7. You can donate to the U.N refugee agency HERE and HERE

8. You can purchase items on an Amazon wishlist specifically for the refugees stranded in Calais. HERE

9. You can sign the following petition to have more asylum seekers accepted in the U.K HERE. Alhumdullilah it has crossed 200k

10. Help the refugees stuck in the Balkans GET SHELTER

It breaks my heart to see that picture. Let’s do something about it. Do not reduce them to but a picture. Act now.

OCD and I

Ellen's OCD Blog

OCD and I.

For as long as I can remember, you have been a part of my life. No matter the time, the location or the season, you were always there, instilling negativity and horror with every step I took. I was haunted by your ever growing existence, yet I clung onto you as if my life depended on it. You influenced my every decision, I couldn’t function without your presence. Yes, maybe I could walk down the left side of the pavement without the inevitable consequence of my loved ones dying, but you would slowly trickle those all too familiar thoughts of doubt into my mind. Infecting every corridor of rational thinking and slowly poisoning that small, sacred part of independence I had left. Then whispering those all too familiar words, echoing through my being. “What if Ellen, what if.” My internal dialogue screaming at you to stop, but…

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New blog

I don’t know what’s with me and blogs recently. Blogging is pretty much all I’ve done for the past 30-40 days. I am not the one to be blamed, I had barely anything to do. School got over in march and college doesn’t start till mid September. That gives me a LOT of time so I might as well do this. Now, this blog is where I will pour my heart out and vent. No, not really.That’s way too much. But it is where I will encapsulate thoughts and try to freeze moments and memories. This is also where I will post whatever catches my attention. So it will range right from landscape photography to profound write-ups and simple experiences. Maybe even a bit of fashion, can’t be too sure. I hope to post frequently, instead of once in a blue moon.