Am I selfish?

I have tried, very hard, to love and give
without expecting because
if you’re expecting in return
they say it isn’t the same bliss.
I’ve always read that you shouldn’t ruminate
on the good and great
you’ve done, you shouldn’t expect the same love back because
if, if you do so, your
love isn’t so pure.
If you expect anything back then what you’re doing is swapping, it’s business.

But how do you teach this to the soft curves and turns of your heart? How do you train it to not expect warmth from the ones you give all your warmth to? Who you’d do so much for. Do you teach it to value others more than they value you? Is it really fair to do that? Should you give and keep giving till you’re all spent? Isn’t love about caring and being cared for?
Humans survive by giving and receiving.
If you care for someone and go out of your way to make them feel better is it so wrong to want them to show concern on your bad days? Is it selfish to want them to do a little for you? To pamper you when you need it. To sit next to you and just rub your shoulders, to ask if you need some food and paracetamol when it looks like you do. To do what you’d do for them in a heartbeat. Is it too much to ask for? Is it being selfish?

I hope not.

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