Note to self.

Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones pulling you down. They’re the ones restricting you, the ones hindering your growth. What you do and don’t do depends on what they do or don’t do. The unfortunate part is that you still like these people a lot. For some reason. And because you like them you don’t say anything. At all. What you do is bottle up all those feelings and hide them in the deepest parts of your being. You try to hide it so well that you deny their existence to even yourself. But these are slowllyyy eating you up from inside, making you hollow and blowing in little specks of detestation. And at some point in yor life all of this comes bubbling to the surface, trying to escape. But what do you do? You try stuffing them further down and concealing them. And then one day they just explode beyond control. Don’t let it come to that point. Speak up and express yourself. And don’t suppress things within you and expect others to magically understand.
Bye and have a nice day.

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Too much or not enough

I usually don’t suddenly, out of the blue miss someone desperately. It needs to be triggered.
Everything will be normal until I suddenly see something. It may be something they passionately spoke about or a colour they love. It may be a favourite book, food they always craved, a habit, perhaps even a scent and it would completely wash me over. I’ll be engulfed in the flames of their memories.
I’m either drowning under the crashing waves or cracking like parched land.